Sometimes during the divorce
process, couples have nuanced issues that require expertise beyond my scope. To
help them, I have a team of trusted colleagues who I rely on to guide clients
through financial or emotional struggles. During this blog series, I have asked
members of my team to come up with some important tips to help divorcing
couples during the process.

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Here is the truth you need to put front and center in your brain now and forever: 

Conflict between you and your spouse is poison for your child. 

Years of research across multiple disciplines have found this to be indisputable. But while conflict is poisonous to children, that isn’t to say divorce is poison. We have known for a long time that divorce is difficult for children because the trauma of having a parent leave feeds the fear of parental abandonment.  Read more…

Through divorce, your ultimate focus is to not allow your children to become the real causalities. If children feel compelled through the immaturity of their divorcing parents to either choose a side or are forced to feel protective of one parent over the other, then the responsibility for the children’s heightened current distress and even potential future trauma falls solely upon the parents themselves.

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The most crucial change any married couple can make in their most intimate relationship is the decision to divorce.

I have addressed how to create a script for the news of the divorce to help you most thoroughly and thoughtfully prepare in advance to reveal this devastating news to your children. Always remember that both parents share equal billing in the starring roles of this drama– and it’s important to know when,

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Your resolution to co-parent with maturity and your mutual insistence upon the welfare of your children at this time are commendable. To that end, you have an agreed-upon script and an appropriate setting in place. Now, it is time to prepare for the audience’s response to this family drama: your children’s reactions.

Reactions Are Unique to Each Child

Much will depend upon the age,

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In my article Scripting the News of Your Divorce for your Children, I provide an idea of how to prepare the news of divorce to your kids. Having a script that stays on-message and is well-practiced is important because this content matters. What’s also important is the context in which that content is delivered. When? Where? How?

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