Through divorce, your ultimate focus is to not allow your children to become the real causalities. If children feel compelled through the immaturity of their divorcing parents to either choose a side or are forced to feel protective of one parent over the other, then the responsibility for the children’s heightened current distress and even potential future trauma falls solely upon the parents themselves.

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The most crucial change any married couple can make in their most intimate relationship is the decision to divorce.

I have addressed how to create a script for the news of the divorce to help you most thoroughly and thoughtfully prepare in advance to reveal this devastating news to your children. Always remember that both parents share equal billing in the starring roles of this drama– and it’s important to know when,

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Your resolution to co-parent with maturity and your mutual insistence upon the welfare of your children at this time are commendable. To that end, you have an agreed-upon script and an appropriate setting in place. Now, it is time to prepare for the audience’s response to this family drama: your children’s reactions.

Reactions Are Unique to Each Child

Much will depend upon the age,

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In my article Scripting the News of Your Divorce for your Children, I provide an idea of how to prepare the news of divorce to your kids. Having a script that stays on-message and is well-practiced is important because this content matters. What’s also important is the context in which that content is delivered. When? Where? How?

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Delivering the news of divorce to children is a difficult task. That’s why it’s imperative that divorcing parents have a pre-planned script outlined and rehearsed before breaking the news to their children.

Though you may be hyperaware of your marital issues, your children may be entirely unaware that irreconcilable discord in your marriage has led to this life-altering decision.

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It is important to think carefully about what you will say and how what you say may affect your children. These guidelines can help you determine just what is appropriate.

Be age-aware. 

In general, younger children need less detail and will do better with a simple explanation, while older kids may need more information. 1

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