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Considering Divorce? Three Things to Consider

September 22nd, 2017 by Marta J. Papa

Imagine how your life will change for better and for worse. Work out in your mind what some of the logistics might be when you and your spouse begin to live apart. Things like where might you live, who will take the kids to school and help with homework. If you’re mentally prepared for these changes, the transition can be much more manageable.


Create a post-divorce budget. It can be helpful to put assets and debts in a spreadsheet and take a look at the big picture. Imagine how your assets and debts might be divided equitably and consider what things you may wish to change to live comfortably. Consider what your priorities are; do you want to stay in the house or would you like to downsize and take on less responsibility? Consider what child support may be necessary to help maintain your children’s standard of living. Taking a realistic look at your finances will help you determine where to go from here and prepare you for your divorce.


Moving forward with a vision. “Divorce researcher Margaret Brinig* has argued that divorce is an opportunistic event – the person who initiates divorce has to see that their life after divorce will in some way, shape or form be better.”

“Does that mean that creating a vision only applies to those who initiate divorce. Absolutely not. For the “leavee” this process helps with negotiating both the financial and the parenting agreement in the legal process. Thinking through in this level of detail can help to avoid mistakes from decisions made in shock. The process can also help with accepting that the marriage is over and while you don’t have to like it, accepting the decision enables you to move forward with your life.”

*”‘These Boots Are made for Walking’: Why Most Divorce Filers Are Women,”  Margaret Brinig, Douglas Allen, American Law and Economics Review V2 N1 2000 (126-169).

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