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Preparing for Divorce: How to Tell Your Family and In-Laws About Your Divorce

July 14th, 2020 by mjp-admin

Are you preparing for divorce? When is the best time to tell loved ones and how do you break the news? Learn how to tell your family about a divorce here.


Dealing with a divorce is an extremely trying and stressful time for all parties involved.

If you’re preparing for a divorce, how and when should you tell your family and loved ones about the unfortunate news?

Read on for some helpful tips and advice that will guide you through the process and help you prepare to inform the ones you love about this monumental life change.

Prepare in Advance

Before you tell your family and friends the news, it’s a good idea to make sure you’re prepared for the process of divorce. If you’re splitting assets, consult with an attorney so they can help you determine the best course of action.

Discuss how you plan to split other things like savings and checking accounts, vehicles, and other important assets. Doing this ahead of time will make it easier when people start to ask you questions about the details. However, remember that you don’t have to tell anyone about your personal financial details if it makes you uncomfortable.

Besides figuring out the technicalities of your divorce, you should also come to an agreement about when and how you plan to tell others. If possible, make a pact that you won’t tell anyone else until you are both ready to avoid arguments and difficulties later down the road.

If you have children involved, you may want to consider talking about custody arrangements before your divorce proceedings. This is extremely important, particularly if your kids are still at a young age. The sooner you can agree about custody, the easier it will be when the time comes to tell your kids.

Preparing for Divorce: What to Tell Family Members

Your parents and parents-in-law may not know you’re having marital problems, so your divorce might come as a surprise. If it’s something that they don’t expect, make sure you talk to them in a private setting and not out in a public venue such as a restaurant.

Every divorce is different, so you may want to talk to your parents alone, or you could choose to sit down along with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. It really depends on how contentious your divorce is and how close your spouse is to their in-laws.

The best way to tell family members about your divorce is to state the facts only. Try your best to leave your emotions out of it and don’t attempt to pit others against your future ex-husband or wife.

When you say something demeaning or negative about your partner, it can end up making you look like the “guilty party.” Instead, just let your loved ones know that things did not work out the way you planned and that you both agree you’d be better off apart.

If they pry for more details, simply tell your family that you’re not ready to talk about it in-depth at the moment. When the time comes, you might feel like divulging more information, but it’s ultimately up to you when, how, and what you say about the intricacies of your divorce.

Telling Your Kids and Teenagers About Your Divorce

While announcing your divorce to family members is tough enough, it can be especially difficult when you have to tell your kids. Children can often pick up on things that adults might not, so don’t be surprised if your older children aren’t as taken aback as you expect them to be.

It’s best to try and break the news to your children together. Remember, you’re both still their parents and telling them as a family unit may help to lessen the blow.

Don’t forget that preparing for divorce can take a serious emotional toll on kids of all ages. Rather than just telling your kids about the separation, ask them how they feel, too. Find out what kind of emotions your children are feeling and let them know that you’re here for them no matter what happens in the future.

Whether your kids are young or they’re teens, it’s still crucial that they know their feelings are valid. Don’t be surprised if they express a little bit of anger, confusion, or sadness as soon as they get the news.

How to Time Your Announcement

It’s almost impossible to say when the perfect time is to let others know about your impending divorce. It’s best to tell family and children sooner rather than later, or else they could end up hearing it “through the grapevine” first. Finding this out from a third party can be a detrimental blow to the entire family.

Family members should always be the first to know about your divorce well before your friends and coworkers hear the news. Once you’ve told all the members of your family, you can move on to telling your friends.

When it comes to talking to close friends about your divorce, you can do this in any setting you want. Schedule a lunch or dinner with friends and let them know about the situation in as much detail as you’re comfortable giving them.

Divorce and Breaking the News

Preparing for divorce can be a messy, stressful time that can compound without the right support. Plan ahead and discuss the details, then move on to telling your immediate family and children about the split.

Never tell friends or the people you work with about your divorce until your family is notified. This will save you a lot of drama and emotional damage later on.

If you need legal assistance with your divorce, please visit our website for more information or contact us today.