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The Imperative of Self-Care for Divorcing Parents: Arranging Social Options During Holidays

October 16th, 2019 by mjp-admin

A client of mine from some years ago, Mrs. X, chose a proactive stance in tackling her first Thanksgiving holiday alone after her divorce. Determined to not simmer in a sulk and drown herself in solitude with a bottle of dry Chardonnay, she chose to serve the impoverished instead.  Ironically, by nourishing the needy in the St. Louis community with a holiday meal,

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The Importance of Self-Care for Those in the Midst of Divorce Proceedings

September 26th, 2019 by mjp-admin

Family holidays and get-togethers are often a catalyst for divorcing parents to bring unnecessary personal distress upon themselves, each other, and, ultimately, their children.  Fortunately, the counter-defense to such a consequence is rather simple: the priority of healthy choices in self-care.

A Story From My Files About the Need for Self-Care

Some years ago, I was representing a woman (let’s call her Mrs.

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Four Steps to Getting A Divorce

August 15th, 2019 by Marta J. Papa

Once you have decided with certainty that a divorce is in your best interest, I recommend following these four steps:

1. Back Off From Social Media

This first step is essential. If you are unhappy in your marriage, it is not unusual for others to know about it, especially if you are inclined to share personal information on Facebook and other social media sites.

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How Do We Tell the Kids?

December 26th, 2017 by Marta J. Papa

This is an area where it is important to tread softly and prepare ahead of time. You can make it much easier on yourself and your children by coming up with a well thought out plan of what to say. You also need to decide if one spouse will sit down with the kids or if you can sit down together and speak to them.

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How Much Information Should I Give my Child about the Divorce?

December 19th, 2017 by Marta J. Papa

It is important to think carefully about what you will say and how what you say may affect your children. These guidelines can help you determine just what is appropriate.

Be age-aware. 

In general, younger children need less detail and will do better with a simple explanation, while older kids may need more information. 1

 

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Allow Your Children to Grieve

December 14th, 2017 by Marta J. Papa

Children often experience divorce as an intense loss—“the loss of a parent, the loss of the family unit, or simply the loss of the life they knew. You can help your children grieve their loss and adjust to new circumstances by helping them express their emotions.” 1

Always Listen. 

Encourage your children to share their feelings and be sure to actively listen to what they say.

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